Goodness spilling all over me. Draping itself over me like dragonfly wings. Permeating my energetic body in its translucent sheath. Soaking through and through me. Inside and Out.

Being able to accept goodness. It is goodness, not kindness. Though the goodness is kind, kindness implies a giver and a receiver. Accepting the gift of goodness, I am aware that it weaves between and among us like leaves rustling over each other on a wet and windy night. No giver, no receiver.

Real goodness has changed me. Spending some time drifting in the sea of goodness has touched me, rearranged me. It’s like goodness has shaken my hand and befriended me inside. Life and death shift too. The illusion of the power to effect things grows less. The rim of light between the worlds grows thin. Love becomes real. Becomes the only real thing. And that which was always true finally is known. Only love is.

Goodness is in the details. In the thoughtful thousand things that have been offered to me. My heart unstitches itself like a bodice and I cannot keep it from beating hard or restrain the tears. A long ago hurt now falls into the realm of the ancient and love holds its place in time. Like a bookmark which has been moved, lifetime to lifetime, a soft and gentle hand moves within my soul, remarking on each existence with a soft laugh, a reminder of my humanity.

I was all locked up inside and goodness came and busted through me like through a window I’d left open unsuspecting. It took some doing. Goodness had to sit on me sometimes to get me to take the medicine it brought. Unused to sharing my soul with another, I coughed and wretched. But finally, in time, I became one with Goodness and the suffering of separation was released.

I have been schooled by goodness. Retrained and re-aimed. I am far from “good” . But goodness isn’t about “being” anything. It’s its own reason and its own habitat. Sometimes it was firm with me. Always it loved me. It turned me on my back like a cat and tickled me and finally a purr traveled forth from deep inside, like it was coming from a long way away.

I hope goodness will take up residence with me now. I hope it will keep me warm at night and unruffled as the sun piles day upon the dawn. I don’t care for prayers and meditations, for rituals and ceremonies. I have felt the real sun. I hope the immersion was enough for me to remember always. Perhaps goodness will ride her white horse through the treasure of my life and catch me up on it so that what I have known will be carried forward to others. All I know for now is that goodness is with me. The night swings a trapeze of stars across the sky. Each star is an eye of goodness’ light. And my eye is rapt with the beauty of the night sky. The sweet hum of silence swaddles me like the arms of God.


Return to Prose Archive